Motherhood: perception vs. reality

by: Tracy Norcross
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Being a mother is supposed to be one of the most wonderful, fulling experiences a woman can have. It’s the creation of life and babies are beautiful beings - right?

Even though that can be a part of the reality, it’s definitely not the full picture. Pregnancy itself is challenging enough with the body aches, nausea, and cravings. At the end of it you’re given a human being that demands your undivided attention and instead of any attention being put on you for the amazing work that you have been going and continue to do, everyone just wants to hold the baby. Not to mention things like body aches don’t stop because you’re still the main source of nutrition for your baby or your two year old is kicking you because it’s funny (to them, the humor is lost on us). Whew.

If my almost 10 years of working with moms has taught me anything - moms are some of the most compassionate and hard working people that I have come across. It is time that moms are given the tools and reminders to be compassionate to themselves. Afterall, you should be able to enjoy the hard work that you have put into this. Sometimes we aren’t able to react how we want to, but many times this is because we’re already at the end of our rope.

In these moments, it is especially important to maintain compassion for one’s self. Feel free to recognize what didn’t go as planned or how you wanted it to. But also accept that this was the result of many different factors, rather than any one thing or person’s fault. Then there will be room to feel kindness for yourself in that you are human, a shared quality among everyone.

This can be especially hard when, as a mom, you have many people depending on you. However, you have the power to work towards your best life that involves self-compassion and connecting with your child. It can just take a little help to get there.

Tracy is working towards getting her professional counselor licensure.  She currently is seeing clients at Kool Counseling and is running a group focused on New moms.  Check out the services tab to find out more information about the New mom group.  If you want to learn more about Tracy, check out her Psychology Today profile here.