KOOL COUNSELING
  • Home
  • Contact Us
  • Therapists
  • Services
  • Retreats / Workshops
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Book Club extras

Dysfunction Junction
A blog about mental health topics

"I feel the power"

7/3/2013

1 Comment

 
Battling my inner control freak comes with a lot of mind wars.
 
"Why would I delegate tasks when I can do it just how I want it done?!" 
"I'm afraid others won't do it correctly and it will reflect badly on me."  
"If I just do it, I know it will be perfect." 

I know it sounds quite controlling, but it also sounds like fear to me.  Christopher Knippers, Ph.D., clinical psychologist at Pacific Coast Recovery in Laguna Beach, California stated control freaks "live with fear and insecurity and an illusion that they can have control over other people or that they can attain perfectionism, but it’s really not possible.”  Being a control freak isn't always a bad thing.  It drives someone to excel, be performance driven, and succeed.  Unfortunately, it also can lead to self-inflicting pressure and an inability to relax because of a striving for something unattainable.  We all like feeling in control because of the sense of power that comes with it.  Who would want to give that up? 

Thankfully giving up control does NOT have to mean giving up the power.  Power can also come with an ability to delegate tasks well and learning to be more empathetic to those around you so they feel appreciated and perform better.  When one doesn't delegate, they get over worked, stressed, and resentful towards others around them.  This can really cause issues with ones personal and professional life.  

I usually always focus on the process of things because that tends to be where it matters, but with a control freak, sometimes the focus needs to be on the outcome instead.  If others use a different way of doing things but the outcome is the same, then that's all that matters.  Working on empowering those around you and letting go of control is hard.  Forbes Magazine (2010) states the transition "will be like nails on a chalkboard, but the payoff is less stress, increased confidence, and best of all, improved relationships in all areas of your life."  Sounds pretty good to me.  What do you think?
1 Comment
GF Cooks link
5/16/2023 01:29:47 am

Hi, nice reading your blog

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Dysfunction Junction

    Author

    Rachael Kool, professional counselor and normal, everyday adult screw up.  

    Contributing Authors include therapists from Kool Counseling.

    Archives

    February 2024
    November 2023
    October 2023
    January 2019
    August 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    January 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
Photo from Mikamatto
  • Home
  • Contact Us
  • Therapists
  • Services
  • Retreats / Workshops
  • FAQ
  • Blog
  • Book Club extras