Battling my inner control freak comes with a lot of mind wars.
"Why would I delegate tasks when I can do it just how I want it done?!"
"I'm afraid others won't do it correctly and it will reflect badly on me."
"If I just do it, I know it will be perfect."
I know it sounds quite controlling, but it also sounds like fear to me. Christopher Knippers, Ph.D., clinical psychologist at Pacific Coast Recovery in Laguna Beach, California stated control freaks "live with fear and insecurity and an illusion that they can have control over other people or that they can attain perfectionism, but it’s really not possible.” Being a control freak isn't always a bad thing. It drives someone to excel, be performance driven, and succeed. Unfortunately, it also can lead to self-inflicting pressure and an inability to relax because of a striving for something unattainable. We all like feeling in control because of the sense of power that comes with it. Who would want to give that up?
Thankfully giving up control does NOT have to mean giving up the power. Power can also come with an ability to delegate tasks well and learning to be more empathetic to those around you so they feel appreciated and perform better. When one doesn't delegate, they get over worked, stressed, and resentful towards others around them. This can really cause issues with ones personal and professional life.
I usually always focus on the process of things because that tends to be where it matters, but with a control freak, sometimes the focus needs to be on the outcome instead. If others use a different way of doing things but the outcome is the same, then that's all that matters. Working on empowering those around you and letting go of control is hard. Forbes Magazine (2010) states the transition "will be like nails on a chalkboard, but the payoff is less stress, increased confidence, and best of all, improved relationships in all areas of your life." Sounds pretty good to me. What do you think?
Rachael Kool, professional counselor and normal, everyday adult screw up.